Darker After Death
by BleedingRagdoll
Summary: I remember the moon. It was so big, and so bright, and it seemed to chase the darkness away. I never, ever forgave it for that. Because it was there the night I died, I know It brought me back. It changed me. Now i'm something else - something with destructive powers. I've never felt so alone in my life. A diffrent kind of Dark!Jack. BlackIce
1. Focus on Other Things

(A/N Hi. So This is not the first fanfiction I written. It is, however, the first I decided to post. Bear with me, for I fear my writing skills are slightly horrible. I will try my best. /will fail./

Okay, so I hope this won't be uber confusing. This is Uber AU, soooo... The premise I had when I started writing this was a different kind if Dark!Jack story. He is not full on evil, but dark. Set with a more modern feel, jack is basically emo looking. I'm just telling you now. More will be explained later, like what stages his hair went in. basically, Imagine him with black hair, and half inch gauges. Wanted to tell you that now, because I can't find a good way to incorperate a description of him into the story. okay, now here we go.)

Do Not Own.

Chapter 1: Focus on Other Things.

The smell of bleach hits my nostrils and I cringe, wrinkling my nose as I slosh a rag around in the bucket. Quickly, I wring it out and begin on the gruesome task of cleaning up someone else's vomit.

As I clean, my mind shifts into a state of nothingness, just the back and fourth and the rince of the rag.

I don't look up as two clean black shoes enter the outside of my vision.

"Yes, Mr. Danno?" I ask, not taking my eyes from the puddle in front if me.

"Can you lock up for me, Jack?" The owner of the shoes asks.

I return the rag to the bucket and move to sit back on my legs and look up at my manager from behind my black hair.

I had this urge to spit on his shoes.

"Mr. Danno, you realize were still open for an hour, and you should stay like the manager you are, instead of leaving early and putting all of the cleaning up on me. You don't own this place, you just manage it."

One of his eyebrows twitched, signifying to me that I had indeed pissed him off.

"I may not own this place, but I am the one in charge of you, and as a regular employee you do what I say. So, you lock up when everyone else leaves." He said in a very houtier-than-thou voice.

Before leaving, with a kick of his very posh shoes he managed to spray a bit of bleach-barf on my shirt.

"Asshole," I growl out as I go back to cleaning.

A minute passes and I finish, quickly getting to my feet and walking to the bathroom to dump out the icky water.

Returning to the bar, I quickly fill up the glasses of those who need and want to get drunk.

Music drones in the background, and I close my eyes and try to focus only on that.

Someone once said that I all to often try to block the world out, and I agree. Who would want to focus on a world like this, were people waste their time getting intoxicated and murderers run free.

Of course I focus on the music instead of thinking. Nothingness is bliss to me. Thinking is bad. Give my mind the chance to think and very bad things happen.

I sigh, just picking out the simple melodies in the music.

Drawn away only by the call of the patrons I'm able to pass a bit more time.

Then, a new arrival at the bar gives me a warm smile before speaking.

"Can I get a beer?" She asks, her voice soft and sweet.

I nod, opening the fridge and pulling out a bottle.

Before handing it to her I pop the top off and throw it away.

She thanks me before taking the drink and spinning the cool bottle in her hands.

"So what's your name?" She asked, warm brown eyes meeting my blue.

"Jack." I said coldly, and coolly in a way that caused the young lady to blush.

"And you?" I asked, eyes meeting through my black bangs.

"Mariah," she offered, putting out a hand.

I took it and ran my thumb over the back of her hand.

"Your hand is freezing," she commented.

"I'm a very cool person." I try to be cool, but a blush comes to my features, when I realize how cheesy the line sounded.

Suddenly, her phone went off and she pulled away her hand to check it.

"God dammit, I got to go..." She said pulling out a couple of bills from her purse.

"It was a pleasure meeting you. I may have to come back soon." She said with a flourish placing the bills on the counter and leaving her untouched beer there.

I watch her leave, shrugging but not really mourning the loss. While she was pretty, she didn't spark anything within me.

Having no one at the bar, I took the moment to empty the garbage can and take it out back.

The warm summer night air hit my skin, almost nauseating me - but just slightly.

Clouds were covering the moon, bringing a sence of peace to my body and mind.

It was a cloudy dark night - just how I liked it, despite the warmth of the air.

As I was placing the bag in the trash bin I heard scuffling down the Alley.

Slowly, he raised the hood of his black jacket and moved down the alley in the shadows, simply observing what was happening.

Two men with masks had a girl pinned up against the wall, feeling down her sides, pulling at her clothing.

Her cries were being muffled by a dirty sock shoved in her mouth, and a steady flow of blood was streaming from a cut on her upper arm.

Getting in closer, I suck in a quick gulp of air when I realize the victim to be Mariah.

I welcomed the anger that began to pump through me, and slowly I revealed myself to the men.

Without hesitation, I gripped one man by the shoulder and ripped him away from Mariah, throwing him against the opposite wall.

Retaliating quickly, he started to rush me just as the other man dropped Mariah to come at me from the other direction.

"Run!" I screamed at Mariah as the two men crashed into me, knocking all three of us to the ground.

The men were quick as one grabbed my hair and yanked my head back and the other landed a punch in my face.

Pain shot up through my head as a shock of light went through my eyes.

Stunned, the men were able to get a better grip on my body, picking me up and throwing me against the wall.

"What's a little goth boy like you doin' trying to save a pretty little lady like her. I mean, can you even see her through that eyeliner, or those bangs. Hey lady, do you-"

It was then the rapist realized that Mariah had managed to escape down the alley and was now turning the corner.

"We can't have her going to the police and blabbin'!" The man said allowing me to get a handle on the situation. In a quick moment I stretched my hand up behind my head and around the back of the neck of the man behind me.

Pulling forward, I was able to shove his face into the ground, creating a sick thump.

On my feet I jumped on the man chasing after Mariah, taking us down to the asphalt once more. I gripped his head and slammed it on the pavement. Once. Twice.

Feeling him go limp, I stood up just in time to be knocked down by the other man.

This time I was on my back, and he held a knife to my neck.

"Not so tough now, are you emo boy."

I struggled to wiggle my arms free, but he had both his knees pinning my hands down. The weight and pain were immeasurable, and I began to see black in my vision fighting with little flecks of white.

Slowly, my eyes began to close. Then something worse happened.

I felt my body go cold.

I never feel cold.

Unless...

I turn my head to the side, eyes seemingly lifeless and watch as patterns of frost begin to swirl out from my body.

"N...no..." I whimpered out as the man on me notices I'm still conscious.

"What the hell...?" He mumbled to himself as frost began to accumulate on the blade of his knife.

"Are you doing this!?" He shouted placing the cold tip of the blade closer to the flesh of my neck.

"R-run..."

I say as contact to my skin causes the frost to swirl over the blade faster.

I could feel the cold pumping through my veins, painfully moving through my blood.

My head was splitting, as if I was having the brain freeze of the century and it was being bashed on an icy pond.

"R...run!" I shouted at him again, and this time he took my warning, only taking in the fact that despite it being the middle of summer, the walls of the alley were coated in frost for a second.

He left his friend unconscious in the alley, feeling only a need to protect himself.

I laid on my back, just listening to the sound of ice forming around me.

Focusing on that, trying to forget the pain.

After a minute or so, I felt the pressure of the ice in my veins release, and I was able to untence. I slowly flipped over and placed my hands on the frozen floor of the alley. I was no longer cold, but the asphalt was still uncomfortable on my hands. With some difficulty I was able to stand.

Looking around, I took notice how frozen the alley looked. I noted the frost patterns that branched out thick and white from where I was laying, and where it had moved over the other thug, a sheen of ice coating his skin and hair.

Kneeling, I checked for a pulse.

He was still alive. Slightly relieved, And slightly annoyed, I started down the alley back toward the place I came.

I re-entered the bar to be greeted by a bunch if angry patrons demanding drinks.

Being the only bar keep and employee in the bar, even if it was a small bar, sucked.

Quickly I took care of them, getting their every desire, for the listed price.

I threw myself into the last half an hour of work left, starting to clean up as the few people left kept on with their drunken stupor.

As long as I keep my mind off what happened.

Focus on the work, focus on the music focus on the nothing. I knew that if i allowed what happened to seep back into my mind, I would be sucked in completly, and shattered in the process. Panic would grip me, and I would fall. I would cry, I would shut up. I would go under.

Suddenly, a feeling, like a chill ran down my spine. I felt like I was being watched. Watched intently.

I opened my eyes and scanned the crowd. It was almost a pleasant distraction.

Being half an hour before closing, about three thirty in the morning - not many people were on the dance floor.

A few patrons were still active, grinding on each other in a dizzying wave of sweat and pleasure, though I saw no one watching me.

I continued to scan the room, till I then saw him.

In the farthest corner of the room, half hidden by shadows my blue eyes met his golden ones.

As I watched, his thin, pale lips curved into smile.

Without any hesitation, he stood up and set down a few bills before taking the last swallow of his drink before leaving the bar.

Frozen for just a second, I moved to bus his table. More quickly than usual, just to be near where he sat. It almost felt like I was being attracted to him, to where he had been.

It was as if something in his eyes connected to mine.

I tried not - and failed - to focus on the memory of his smile, and how it seemed to wiggle dark feelings into my heart. Feelings I couldn't understand. couldn't comprehend. Like a deep feeling in my gut. Calling out.

It had sent a feeling down into me, and it made me feel good.

As I cleared away his glass and went to take the money I caught sight of his napkin.

On the corner was written in neat, perfect penmanship, one word.

_Soon._


	2. Mariah

(A/N I want to thank Guest and Dark Anime for reviewing. Especially Dark Anime. You got me off my butt, and made me write the next chapter. This is for you guys... over 3,000 words. nice and long. I'm quite proud of myself. Enjoy!)

(Also warning for those sensitive to Self - Harm, This chapter has a bit of it in it. you have been warned,)

EDIT: I realize there were some problems with this chapter. at one point I accidentally switched POV from 1st to 3rd for half a sentence and a few other places. I tried to fix them all.

Do not Own.

Chapter 2: Mariah

* * *

Three steady thumps on my door summoned me from a world I only see In my dreams.

I lazily slid my eyes open, their blue gaze meeting that of my sister.

Flipping up onto my back I managed to pull myself up in the bed. "Good Morning, Jillian." I managed to mumble out to the picture on my bedside table.

I sat in my bed for a moment, slightly confused and disoriented.

Foggy, I ran a hand through my tousled hair, simply confused at way I was awake.

Three more knocks on my door reminded me that the reason I retained conciousness at this moment was that someone, though I have no Idea who, was knocking on my door.

The fact was, no one ever knocked on my door. People in this building always knew it was the ~creepy goth guy~ that lived here, and always avoided me like the plague.

Still, Curiosity must have gotten the better of me. I walked over, half asleep to the door and opened it just a crack.

"Nnn?" I inquired, with a yawn.

Eyes half open I was suddenly awake when I realized the person knocking on my door was Mariah. Sudden self awareness came to me, and I ran a hand through my hair. It must have been a mess - and sleeping attire. I took a millisecond to look down at my baggy grey sweat pants and oversized black tee shirt.

"H-hi..." She said, nervously taking me in. "I can come back, I forgot you work in a bar - late hours. You must have been asleep." She said, pulling away from the door.

"Ah - I'm up now. You can come in, as long as you don't mind my mess." I said, backing away from the door.

Usually, I wouldn't have invited anyone in, but then again - no one came to my door, wanting to see me.

Entering, she slid her hair behind one ear. Nervously, she looked around my room - eyeing every piece of furniture with interest, as if examining it thoroughly. I could tell she was trying to think of something to say.

"Give me a moment," I said, moving to my bathroom.

Shutting the door, I let out a blast of air, my cheeks puffing out as I sighed.

The sheer fact that someone wanted to talk to me was surprising.

I ran my hand through my hair again, then took a moment to clean the room of my personal effects. When done, I run a brush through the black mop on my head.

I exited the bathroom and saw she had perched on the edge of my bed.

I, for some reason, felt the need to impress this girl - even though there were no feelings, or butterflies or whatnot stirring inside me. It was a need to be seen as an equal, prehaps - instead of being looked down upon.

"So, uh. Hi." I said, awkwardly, fiddling with one of the many thick bracelets on my wrists.

"I wanted to thank you for saving me last night." She said with a gentle smile. "Is there anywhere you'd like to go? I know its getting kinda late in the morning..." She looked at her watch. "Well, actually it's the afternoon... but, never the less - I know a small diner that serves a great omelet. Interested?" She asked, hopefully.

My mind emptied. "Y-yeah, sure - I'd love that... But I have to ask... This ... uh, isn't a date right?" I felt my pale cheeks swim with just a tad of pink - which was a major blush for me.

Mariah stared for a moment before opening her mouth for a second and closing it, in though and probably sheer surprise.

A moment passed, and I felt myself shrivel up inside. I must have offended her. I just had to go and say what was on my mind! That never, ever, works.

"Well, no - actually." She said, watching my face as if to see if I might have a mental break down. "I have a ... man. I think, well... Sort of. This is just to say thank you." She gave a small smile, and again watched me closely.

I was sure I surprised her when I let out a long sigh of air. "N-no it's okay. It's actually better this way." I said, looking down and again fiddled with my bracelets.

She seemed slightly surprised, and just a tad hurt. "Why?"

I looked her in the eyes.

"Because the people i'm close to tend to get hurt." I said, completely serious.

She stared at me a moment more and gave a small smile.

"I can prot-" she started, then closed her mouth. I knew how the sentence was supposed to end - and I had caught her in a lie. She couldn't really protect herself - it was proven yesterday by the attack in the alley.

I still didn't meet her eyes, though.

"Well, I will be more prepared next time something happens, I got a can of pepper spray! Proven to get rid of the crazies..." Her voice trailed off, as I sighed.

A moment, then two passed.

She placed her seemingly delicate hand on top of mine.

Though a brief moment of shock passed her face at the sheer coldness of my hand, she smiled.

"You saved me, Jack. I'll be fine. I want to be your friend, but I can't have you go off thinking I'll die because you know me. Knowing you has saved my life."

I sighed. "Anyone would have done something."

"Not anyone, I can name a few people who would walk by, but that's not the point. The point is you didn't. Now, can we move past this, let's have a nice breakfast for lunch." She said, standing up.

"How does that work?" I asked, me she gave me a quizzical look.

"I mean, wouldn't they stop serving breakfast."

"It's called the Waffle House. I doubt they'll stop serving breakfast just because it twelve thirty noon."

* * *

As we walked down the street, she insisted that we link arms.

While we were not on a "date" she insisted we act as if we were, so no creepers get the wrong idea.

This was slightly irritating, and I asked her about if her boyfriend saw her.

She sighed. "He's at work, and besides - were not really latched at the lips right? I love linking elbows. I feel like someone from old days. I dunno, it makes me happy."

I nodded, turning my eyes back to the sidewalk in front of us.

We decided to walk because she insisted it was close enough. It was pleasant enough out, the sun was shining. Though it was a bit hot.

I had of course change out of my sleeping attire, and was now wearing a black button down short-sleeved shirt and clean jeans.

As I changed, I again felt the need to impress this girl on a different level - and leaned away from my usual tee shirts. The button down was probably the nicest thing I own.

"So, do you like your job at the bar?" She asked in an attempt I assume to make small talk.

I sucked in a quick gulp of air and let it hiss out between my teeth before answering.

"No, not really." I said simply, and the look she gave me told me she wanted more. "Well, I like the job itself and the pay is good, but my manager is a real ass."

She chuckled. "Well then, that's to bad."

I nodded, sighing.

"I get by, somehow."

Suddenly, someone had bumped into me, knocking me from Mariah's elbow and promptly on my bum.

"Oh, I am so sorry!" A light male voice said, a British accent ringing his words.

Jack looked up at who bumped into him, and let out a small gasp of surprise.

The man who bumped into me offered a hand and I took it, allowing myself to get back on my feet.

He was about three inches taller than me, with a light blue braid that reached down to his butt, and an almost impossible pale green eyes that seemed to sparkle and glimmer with a certain freedom.

His eyes drew on something in me, and I felt a wave of wanting, of needing freedom. But along with that want came the realization that I would not truly get it. The sadness and depression I had ignored, allowed to fall from my back, washed over me.

Sighing, I let out a shuddering breath.

"You okay, Jack?" Mariah asked with a worried glance over my body.

"Yeah, I'm fine," I said taking my eyes from the strangers.

"I'm really sorry!" The man said again. "Didn't mean to pull you from your lady's arm."

I quickly glanced at Mariah, And she at me. Within a millisecond, we both spouted "were not together" at the same time.

The man gave out a small bit a laughter.

"Well, you sure appeared to be. My mistake. I'm Wind."

I furrowed my brows. "Wind? Is that your real name?"

Wind smiled. "No, but that's my nickname."

"Then what's your real name?" Mariah asked, looking into his eyes.

"Well, I'm not telling."

"Why?" I asked, curious.

"Because, I want you to call me Wind, and nothing else." He said, meeting my eyes, and forcing me to look away.

"I'm Mariah," the brunette said, holding out her hand. Wind took the hand and promptly kissed the back of it gently. I could see the blush that crawled over her features slowly.

"Jack," I said, offering my hand as well - but almost a bit fearful to touch him.

Wind's eyes had knocked me on my depressed ass, just because I could see his freedom and wanted it - and knew it was not something I could have.

He took my hand and shook it. "It was nice to meet you two, and hopefully, we'll meet again sometime." He looked straight in my eyes with the last bit. I fought of the wave of want that rose up in me, and I shuddered slightly.

"Bye!" He called out behind him, as he continued down the street one hand raised in a wave.

I watched him leave with a seed of madness in my soul.

"Well that certainly was interesting," Mariah said happily as she took my elbow again. "Shall we?" She asked.

Instead of replying, I just nodded slowly.

* * *

"That was surprisingly good." I said with a smile that would fool anyone. Don't get me wrong, it was a great brunch - but I was still battling with myself after meeting Wind.

I was quite tired of dealing with this need and the depression, and desperately wanted to curl into a ball and sleep.

I of course kept up my Façade of pleasantness.

"Did you see that lady with those two girls wearing those Waffle House hats? I mean they were stacked on top of each other!" She gave a small laugh and sighed.

"That woman kinda reminds me of my mom. She cheers people up."

I nodded, smile still holding.

We had lingered over the meal an hour, and I could tell she was enjoying herself.

"So where to now? I imagine we could catch a movie... If you'd like."

The thought appealed to me, but the sheer entirety of this day just left me figuring I wouldn't have any fun.

"Actually," I began, rubbing the back of my head.

"I think I'm ready for bed... I know it's like two o'clock but, I got home real late last night and I feel like I'm gonna fall over." It was a half lie, half truth - but I couldn't really care. I didn't feel like doing anything else. Sleep seemed like the only escape at this point.

"Oh, sure. That's fine." I could tell she was slightly disappointed, though to her credit she hid it well. "Why don't you take your boyfriend out after he gets out from work instead. I'm sure he's more fun to hang around than me."

She just nodded, eyes diverted. I could almost imagine her biting her tongue as if trying to find a way out of a sticky situation.

I ignored it.

"Well at least let me walk you home, that is where my car is anyway. That won't be a problem, right?"

I gave her a smile, glad to have made a friend. At least I think I did.

"Of course."

We continued down the side-walk in part silence.

I could tell she kept glancing over at me, and every time I would meet her eyes and smile.

Soon we arrived back at my apartment building.

"Thanks for the fun day," I said with a smile.

"No, thank you for saving me."

She outstretched her arms and awkwardly, I realized she wanted a hug.

We embraced and I reveled in the warmth I was able to feel between our bodies. "Thank you," I said as we pulled away.

"No problem, really." She said.

We shared a moment of silence before she sighed. "Can I use your restroom?" She said with a small smile.

I nodded, without thinking and allowed her to follow me back up to my room.

While she was in my small bathroom I took off my shirt and tossed it into the corner, pulling out another baggy tee and pulling it on over my chest

I also quickly changed my pants.

I was so ready to sleep for an age.

I silently thanked a random deity I had that night off.

The sadness have spread over my mind as I sat on my bed and threatened to break my Façade before Mariah left.

With the sound of a toilet flushing, she left the bathroom.

"Thanks again," she said as she left my room and I closed the door behind her.

Sighing, I sat on my bed and simply felt that pressure on my chest grow, the sadness and depression I battled with winning.

Tears silently slid down my cheeks.

I didn't understand my sadness, but simply let it consume me.

Not to long later I found myself with my one enemy and one savior.

The blade was small, but extremely sharp and so cold.

My knee cap was exposed, the edge of my leg already sporting a few scars.

I fought the urge for a few moments before placing it on my bare skin.

I made a small cut, and didn't wince at the pain as the blood started to bead up on the cut.

I needed this, the physical pain blocking out the mental pain.

I silently kept watch over the bleeding wound as a chill spread over my body.

I shivered as my breath became frosty and the blade in my hand almost felt hot from the sheer cold.

I looked at my ceiling as frost began to form there, along with around me on the bed. I shuddered as I tried to hold in the cold, but it had already started pumping through my veins and pounding in my head.

My mind raced as my eyes fluttered, almost feeling some remote bit of ecstasy a world away.

I continued to hold in in unsuccessfully as I heard the frost spread.

Suddenly, a knock on the door made my head snap up.

"Jack?" I heard a voice call.

It was Mariah. "Jack, hey sorry if I woke you, but I forgot my purse in your bathroom. I made it all the way home, and back but I need it for something."

I looked around frantically, wiping my tears on my shirt and throwing the bloody blade in the top door of the dresser.

I cursed as a wave of pain washed over me once again and the cold became colder.

Pulling down my pant leg is ignored the wetness of my blood.

I couldn't turn her away. It would be wrong, but...

"Hold on," I croaked out as I slowly made my way over to the door, a hand over my stomach as if keeping my entrails inside me.

Slowly, I opened the door, and allowed her in.

I didn't say anything as I closed the door and silently stood in the shape of the room.

"It's cold. You must really love the AC cranked." She observed.

Mariah smiled in my direction as she made her way to the bathroom and suddenly stopped dead.

"Jack?" She asked as she picked up her purse from the floor, her eyes not leaving something she saw laid out on the sink.

I slowly made my way over to her, and watched on in horror as she picked up a blade delicately.

How could I have forgotten about those! I grit my teeth in sheer anger at my stupidity and watched as she felt the edge of the razor.

"Are you okay?" She asked slowly, eyes trying to meet mine without success.

"I am, it's probably best if you leave." I said in a perfect monotone.

It was that moment the cold returned toy veins in a thrashing, fiery cold storm.

I fell to my knees, gripping my head.

I felt the ground under me get cold, and I grit my teeth harder than ever to just keep in control of my body.

"Jack.." Mariah, said worriedly, leaning down and placing a hand on my back.

"Stop!" I shouted out, eyes closed, but watering.

"What can I do to help?" She said softy, the fear in her voice clear.

"Leave..." I groaned out. I needed her gone, for her protection. Is she stayed here she could freeze to death, or worse.

"But..."

"LEAVE!" I shouted.

Slowly, and shakily, she got up and moved to the door.

"I'm sorry," I moaned out as she walked slowly out of my range.

Moment passes and so did the small spasm.

I was able to breathe, thankful Mariah was safe.

Then...

"Jack?" Came her voice, soft and scared. irritation, fear and anger swelled through me.

"What are you still here...?" I said softly, sadly and full of resignation.

"I...I think the door is frozen.."


End file.
